Strangled By The Thought - The New Amsterdams

Weak from lack of oxygen,
strangled by the thought.
Promise you'll remember when im gone.
Sleep is mostly optional
trace lines around my heart,
steal the only breath from my lungs.

And if i had your faith,
I'd be fearless.
But until that day,
I'm envious.

Miles and miles that distance us,
like meters on a map.
Trace lines that only translate to a day.
But if your awake,
tell me its safe.
If you ask me to stay,
then ill stay.
Dont leave me here,
when im bleedin',
when im fadin',
when im true.

And its tempting
to stop everything,
when im pouring out to you.
So take everything,
take it all from me.
all i want,
all i want is you.

If you've ever had a song that just hit you right there. Right in the spot where it hurts the most and you've just accidentally stumbled upon it you are not alone on this night.

I have decided that it's time to stop checking up on dA and having the (as you can tell) very sparse journals that I have. I'm doing my best to move forward with my life, and although dA is a reminder of my past (which I am neither ashamed, nor nostalgic about) and I will leave my journals up to all who read them (Nessa, Megan, Reeca, Kayla, Anna and perhaps Gen) so that they can remember maybe some of their memories that would bring a smile to their face. I personally will stop checking this at all or at least as little as possible. Mainly due to my schedual.

But also due to my belief that the past is just that, and I need to focus on my future now.

I don't know if you'd like to hear any more about my life, it's been going fine if you're wondering. Although these past couple of days have been hard, they're days like all the others and I am merely waiting for the day when it'll be good again. Not that all my days have been like this, nonono. Actually, life has been going swell for the most part, which is something I need to remember in times like these.

And for those of you wondering about Jaclyn, or maybe if you didn't, I wanted to write it at least one time on here.

I love her.

It's emo to leave something like this up on a website. But that is where I want to leave this journal. Considering so much of it was wrapped up in my first experiments with this word, I believe it is fitting that I tell you that I have found out what that word means, and it is amazing and wonderful and painful and everything you've ever thought it could be. I am blessed that she walked into my life at all.

That's about it. I believe it wraps up this little journey nicely. Maybe one day I'll write a comic about it, but I doubt it. Hope you all have a great year and may your lives be amazing and wonderful. May everyday for you be like the morning dew, refreshing you for another adventure or decision or perhaps just a new love. To all who find this entry, may God bless you in ways you haven't even dreamed of.

Oh yes, I forgot. The reason I'm ending this is because I'm an adult now. No, not like I'm too mature or whatever, I thought that once I turned 18 I should get something else to record my thoughts. That or perhaps find another venue. I don't know. For now, this is it.

But I think I'd like to leave you with another song by the same band. Amazing artists if you ever give their stuff a gander.

Watch The World Cave In - The New Amsterdams

The world's caving in,
I got tickets for two.
They're not the best seats
and they're not the best view.
Take my hand,
you can squeeze on my arm.
Wake from your slumber, baby,
it's gonna start.
It was worth the price of admission.

The two of us watch the world cave in

The world's caving in
like the prophecy calls.
Barter redemption
for diamonds and pearls.
The rich got the camel
through the eye of a needle.
The deed in itself
was inherently evil.
When all's been said
and written,

The two of us watch the world cave in

The world's caving in,
they're releasing the souls.
Trapped in the earth
where we can't hear their calls.
Unbelievable torture,
you wouldn't believe.
This is their passion,
their chance to be free.
But they're beaten
into submission.

Free at last, watch the world cave in

When all's been said and written,
The two of us watch the world cave in.

-Aaron